The first few years your daughter is menstruating are key to shaping the way that she will view her period for the rest of her life. And there are things you can do as her mom that will help her to embrace and celebrate it, rather than feel burdened by it.
Before she starts menstruating: At this age girls just want to be normal, to fit in. So if your daughter is the first to start her period, or the last, it can be upsetting. Reassure her that every girl develops at her own rate. If she's the first in her crowd, call her a leader. If she's the last, tell her that late bloomers bloom the prettiest. But use the opportunity to talk about puberty, menstruation and any other topic she is struggling with. Discussing menstruation before your daughter goes through puberty or has her first period is important. It can be very frightening and confusing to her if it happens before she understands.
After you've talked with her about it or when you notice she has started to develop breasts and pubic hair, buy a package of Always (whatever size and type the Product Selector has helped you determine) and have her keep a pad in her book bag or purse so that she is not surprised by her first period. Then do something to help her feel beautiful, special and loved. Bring her a single, long stem red rose or a fancy dessert with a candle to celebrate her approaching womanhood.
When she gets her first period: Make it special. Celebrate her first period as the beginning of her passage into womanhood. Make a big deal about it, because getting your first period is a very big deal. You don't have to share it with her brothers and friends, it will only embarrass her. Make it about the two of you instead. Share your own personal experiences and feelings. How old were you when you started your period? Were you scared or excited? You could also take her somewhere grown up that she's never been. Or pass down something your mother gave to you. Just make her feel special.
When she's on her period: Cut her some slack. Try to remember what it was like to be a teen, feeling many strong emotions for the very first time. Stop regularly and ask what she has heard, to be sure she's not confused. Ask her if she has any questions. Then remember to be a good listener when she opens up to you. And be sure to have a sense of humour. All this complicated physiological stuff is bound to elicit a few giggles from both of you.
Your daughter needs you more than she realizes right now. So, always listen to her and support her. You will not only build a closer relationship with her but also help her feel confident and happier in this new stage of life.
